Sunday, October 3, 2010

Walking on egg shells...

Once in a while it is okay to accept that things are not going to work the way you want them to. It doesn’t mean that you haven’t tried enough, because if you hadn’t, then you were in your own way, somewhere at the back of your head, sure that things would not work out at the end of the day. In which case, it wouldn’t matter much either. But that is not the case. The fact of the matter is that you’ve worked so hard to make it better, or atleast stay the way it is, that seeing it get worse with each moment hurts. In fact, it more than just hurts, it is practically unbearable.

Very often, you just assume things can’t go wrong. You make things which were meant to be a small part of your life, a predominant factor governing it. And then, marvel at how wondrous life is. You look at others, who struggle to make things work and feel sorry for them. But one fine day, your own wondrous assumptions start sounding unreal, and when things start to change, you are startled! ‘This cannot be true! I have given it all I had, and this, I was sure was going well! Then how the hell did it not?’ And then you try to grapple and grab at what is left, trying to get it back to atleast a bit of what it was. At times you succeed. But at times you don’t. More often than not, you’re left with bits and pieces, which when you closely observe, are just not the same. And for all you know, will never be.

A whole load of people say crap like, it takes a great deal of courage and perseverance and bullshit, to finally begin to see the right in something. I respectfully disagree, because the only time a person actually changes and begins to see the right in things, is when he wants to.

One miserable, horrible weekend is all it took, to ease that ever high on psychoness (yeah, it’s my patented word) mind of mine. Realized, how you can deceive your stupid mind and feed it the fodder of nonsense but it will still shut up and listen to your heart when time comes.

Once in a while, it is much easier to squash those egg shells beneath your feet, wash it all away, and start afresh. Once in a while, it is okay to let go. Because this time, holding back is not an option.

P.S: I agree, I can’t hate or hurt. I love my life, the people in it and all the baggage they come with :)

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