Idiosyncracies and peccadilloes...

Love is of elusive quality, something very similar to luck. If one needs it and even wishes for it hard enough, there’s certainly no genie appearing from the lamp to grant it to you on a platter. At the same time, all I know is if one knows where to find it, one can hold on to it…. forever. And oh, the channels to discover love, so many and varied. Through people, animals, work, pastime, eating ;) and so on….

Our very idea of love and romance is so much influenced by movies and books (mills and boons anyone?) love at first sight, the thudding of the heart, the breathlessness, and oh… how can I forget the song in the heart.. makes one go mmmmmmmmmmmmm don’t they? But (there’s always a but at the end of the rainbow)…. Is love like this?

I’ve met people who have claimed to be influenced by all these factors and sometimes more ;) dreamy eyes, lost expressions, countless hours over the phone. It’s at this point the movie ends with “They happily lived ever after” idea. It’s at this stage that their hunky dory hoopla hoop world is bombarded with the harsh realities of the world around them. What happens later? Aaahaaa ;)

Everyone has their own lil’ set of idiosyncrasies… like, I’ve never eaten any meal without spilling it on myself (table manners can take a hike) or my obsession with people splitting because of a tree or obstacle (it’s a weird fear that friendship splits if we split while walking… has never worked for me though) I need to touch my hair every 10secs.. I can’t remember names of roads, I speak in loooooong continuous sentences without pauses… I hate getting wet in the rain… I lose balance almost everytime! I use hell a lot of adjectives to describe stuff ;) I pet animals whether they are dirty or diseased…I cannot write or type stuff if I don’t format the page first (borders and spacing etc etc) I clean my room when im pissed off… these are the tiny lil’ stuff about me, the peccadilloes that irritate people… it’s love when you don’t tolerate their idiosyncrasies but grow to love them because of it. Sharing every thought under the sun, learning things together (handwriting analysis class!), exploring, fighting over petty stuff and making up, getting hurt, laughing loudly at silly jokes, enjoying roadside chaais :) ‘almost’ holding hands while walking, kissing in the rain, feeding the first bite to the other person, picking out names for our kids (even fighting over it), feeling jealous already about who will be the cooler one with the kids, waking up to the sound of their voice… and it goes on and on and on…

Finally… its we who decide who gets into our weird lil world and our messed up lil hearts… we are all pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, senseless, stupid and imperfect, we need another piece of the jigsaw which is stupid and imperfect to complete the picture…

“Im not perfect,

Neither is he

But together,

We just maybe”

P.S: I've found my jigsaw piece, it’s a perfect fit and i love it.. :)

Forever and always...

This poem is one of my all time favorite classic poetry. I read it when I was 15, it has traveled through many many years in the pages of my book, didn't really make much sense then... but when i was flipping through some old stuff… I read it again... it all comes rushing back to me now... it all makes sense... every line has various connotations... every line… a plethora of feelings...

I carry your heart with me
By E.E.Cummings

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

P.S: I carry your heart... i carry it in my heart...

♬...Love happens once, the rest is just life...♬

Sitting in a BMTC bus at 8.00a.m in the morning, watching the world go by… not a perfect setting for writing your heart out… yet… when it comes to love… the brain shuts down and my tiny lil heart does most of the thinking... a barrage of questions and yet it all makes perfect sense...

Is it love when you start missing mushy mobile calls saying I love you at odd hours? Is it love when the ego inflates to such imposable proportions that you actually start hurting because you want to be with them but you can’t? Is it love when you pamper your sweetheart more during times she hurts or when she treats you like a kid while handling all your mood swings? Is it love when you love them the most when they deserve it the least because that’s when they need you the most? Is it love when you feel alone in a crowd when he’s not around? Is it love when the heartbreaks move beyond immeasurable proportions of anger and resentment or when spells of heart glue them together? Is it love when even the thought of his messed up hair in the morning makes you start writing romantic poetry? Is it love when it becomes sweetest of all sensations or is it when it becomes rarest of all relations? Is it love when you think of them from the lounge rooms of your home to the boardrooms of your office? Is it love when you start believing the nutcases around you? Is it love when you watch him gasping in delight and bask in delirium? Is it love when you ache for him when you see other couples holding hands? Is it love when it breaks relationships in life or when it creates newer pastures of companionship? Is it love when its enigmatic nature makes you go through the ups and downs on your heart's smooth surface? Is it love when it brings the smiles across all our faces or is it when it streaks the tear down our cheeks? Is it love when you are being so purposefully cryptic to safeguard details or when you want to scream out the secret in the open?

P.S: As the final quest begins in answering all these questions one by one, as the mystery unfolds in front of all of us, and as life throws surprises every now and then, we realize among all these emotional roller coaster rides of life and relationships, that, Love is always there, in some cute corner, waiting to be found!